the last thrash serenade of a grindcore cowboy...

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:04:57 GMT

this is my last entry in this journal. i'm not gonna delete it or anything cuz i think it'll be cool to have it to read and remind myself how cool i am/was haha. starting on the 15th i'll be posting under WEARYOURFACE. add me if you want.

"it's real and it's been fun, but was it all real fun?"

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 12:46:47 GMT

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
went to new york a bunch.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't do that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
my aunt.

5. What countries did you visit?
nowhere

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
sanity

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? august 15th and october 15th, not because of what happened this year on those dates, but because of what happebed in previous years.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting closer to my friends and making a million new ones. that and moving the fuck out.

9. What was your biggest failure?
never learning my lesson, whether it be with rachel, drugs and alcohol, or thinking i can get away with anything.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
ended up in the hospital for a while one night. stupid beer.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
tattoos

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my friends. all of you fucks.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
everyone knows the answer to this.

14. Where did most of your money go?
beer and drugs :/

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving to philly.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
reinventing axl rose. reminds me of all my friends cuz i love them to death.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
i'm much happier now.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
drank beer and smoked weed hah.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
fucking ex girlfriends

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
at home :(

20. How will you be spending New Years?
prolly working :(

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
never fell out.

23. How many one-night stands?
two or three. not many.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
family guy and xATHFx

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i don't hate anyone. it's a waste of energy.

26. What was the best book you read?
dude, where's my country?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
swedish hardcore

28. What did you want and got?
tattoos, a house, beer, chronic

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
garden state, city of god

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went to a couple shows and partied with my best friends.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
things working out the way they should.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
one pair of pants, one hoody, one sweater, and a few shirts.

34. What kept you sane?
beer, chronic, and my friends

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
gwen steffani. i'm obsessed.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
having a coke monkey for a president.

37. Who did you miss?
old friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
way too many awesome people.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
still don't think i've learned my lesson.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"I'm not giving up the claim that I can save the world and all I need are my friends."

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 15:33:03 GMT

went to the halfway house last night with brandon and mufalli. drank there for a few hours then went to some party a couple blocks away. got really trashed then went to kirsten and krissy's house. drank and smoked weed there. sprayed krissy with a lot of silly string. watched xATHFx on adult swim on demand till i fell asleep. woke up around nine and drove krissy to work then came home. i move in three days. kegger at our house next weekend. be there or be square.

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:52:26 GMT

"you're gonna end up in jail before you're 18." -jake
"i am 18, jake. in fact, i'm actually 19." -me
"yeah i'm surprised you've made it this long." -jake

almost got arrested again last night. we got pulled over leaving a show and i was a little drunk but talked to the cops well enough that i wasn't thrown in a drunk tank again. the worst was when i opened my glove compartment to get my registration and insurance and a bottle of valium fell out hahahahaha. brandon's a fucking asshole and put his shit in there without telling me. the cop started questioning me like it was mine but brandon admitted that it was his and made up some bullshit excuse about his mom giving it to him to help him sleep cuz his grandpop died or something. so after about twenty minutes they let us leave and took brandon's valiums with them. prolly ate them and drove around trashed pulling people over like the pigs that they are. man i gotta be careful. i hate cars. they're always getting me into trouble. i've only got four more days then i won't have to drive anymore. i'm riding my bike when i go party tonight.
anyway, went to the halfway house after the low budgets show. drank there till pretty late then krissy drove my car back to her house and we drank there till about 6am. the end.
call with the plan for tonight.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 13:19:10 GMT

i'm off all weekend hip hip hooray! gotta party, i need it.
i start moving in tomorrow so if anyone wants to help that would be awesome. it'll only take a couple hours cuz i'm saving all my big shit for wednesday.
call me and let me know what's going on tonight... 856-309-5857.

Tue, 07 Dec 2004 23:27:20 GMT

i move in eight days. hooray.
i'm working right now sunday through thursday which is sweet cuz i get a lot of overtime and i can still party on the weekends.
i can't wait to set up the basement with all our shit in there. i just wanna smoke weed and rock out all the time. mitchell quit fight amputation so he's gonna come over one day to jam and possibly be apart of the awesomeness that will soon be assistant bastard.
harry's coming over tomorrow and we're gonna get shit squared away with all the utilities and whatnot. we also gotta go open up a joint account for the house so we can just put our rent money in there.
i worked 11 hours last night. i went in at 8 and was there till 7am. i should just sleep there for christ sake.
kristin came over today and took a nap with me. now my arm is all fucked up from sleeping in a weird position. girls are nothing but trouble.
i smell bad.

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 12:30:41 GMT

i am beardless; lacking beard, without beard.
i'm throwing away my razor so this never happens again.

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 16:35:15 GMT

i feel like i've been shot out of a fucking cannon. i drank two 40s last night, and steel reserve 22, and six sparks. fuck sparks. when i got home i thought it was like 2am but really it was fucking 6 and i didn't fall asleep till 8. now i'm awake again. lame!
what a fucking awesome night though. brandon and dirt had their first halfway house experience and i think they had a good time. we rode our bikes over to kirsten's after and chilled there for a while then i left and they crashed on her couch.
i have the shits.
my tongue is still yellow.

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 10:45:35 GMT

i know the most beautiful and amazing girls on the planet and i take that shit for granted.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 21:19:31 GMT

i have off tomorrow night. me and brandon are riding are bike to the halfway house for MUNICIPAL WASTE. everyone better go and get drunk with me.

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 12:19:43 GMT

fuck man. i have community service in two hours. i'm calling the dude today and getting it changed to somewhere in nj cuz i can't make it over there in time. i don't get out of work till like 7 or 8 nowadays, and there's no way i can make it to philly in an hour with the traffic. i've missed the last three times i was supposed to go and i've never called. i wonder if i'll get in trouble for that. i'm gonna call the guy today and tell him i don't have a car or something and i can't make it over there in time. hopefully he's not a fucking asshole.

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 23:51:06 GMT

well, i got a job in the city. "where?" you ask. muthafukin target. they're transfering me to the south philly one. i didn't really wanna work nights anymore but i'll be able to get a set schedule and i'll be making $10 an hour so fuck it. i'm gonna work sunday, monday, wednesday, and thursday nights so my weekends will always be free and i'll never work more than two nights in a row.
my cell phone is turned off so from now on you're gonna have to call 856-309-5857 to reach me. i'll have my house phone hooked up when we move in.
i have work at 8 tonight, and i have community service tomorrow. maybe i'll actually go this time.

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 23:48:04 GMT

i move exactly two weeks from today. expect a party that weekend.


beer is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 21:37:56 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIGGUM!

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 19:52:40 GMT

yesterday i picked wiggum up and we bought some chronic to celebrate his last day of probation. i twisted a nice dutch and we got stoned as shit then watched wet hot american summer. mufalli came over and me, him, holly, and wiggum went to go see seed of chucky. they all hated it but i was cracking up through the whole movie. it was seriously like a b-horror movie and i loved it. then we went back to wiggum's and bill q came over. that's right! the man, the myth, the legend, william peterson actually made an appearance. he smoked a blunt with us then went home. good night.
i have off again tonight so let's get drunk.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 16:10:51 GMT

well, i didn't go to community service again today. i'll go wednesday.
i faked sick last night and got out of work at 4am. tonight i'm calling out cuz they think i have the flu and i have off tomorrow so that means two nights to party.
i have a thing for girls that wear bandanas. that cunt at work is a cutie. she will dump her bf for me, oh yes, she will.
call a nigga up.

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 18:51:14 GMT

last night pissed me off. went over to the halfway house around 8. payed three bucks, watched one band, didn't drink, then had to leave to go to work. i got to work at 10:30 and they let me leave at 1 cuz they didn't need me. i could've called out and got wasted but nooooooooo. me and joe hart went upstairs to fetus' room cuz joe had a "surprise" for me which turned out to be whiskey but i couldn't drink cuz i had work! lame lame fucking lame! then when i left work i was gonna go back to the city and drink beers at kirsten's house but it was pouring outside and i didn't wanna drive in the rain so i just went home. i have to go into work at 8 tonight and i have community service tomorrow from 8-2:30.
i made a new lj. i'll post the link to it when i move. it'll be a fresh start.

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 22:27:47 GMT

i went to bed around 2 last night and woke up at 7am. i don't sleep much anymore and it sucks cuz i really would like to. i'll get a couple good hours of sleep then i'll wake up every twenty minutes in cold sweats. i have the shittiest fucking nightmares and i don't mean the kind with mosters and whatnot. i dream about shit that's on my mind and bothering me and it's driving me insane. last night jake told me something that really pissed me the fuck off. it's eating away at my brain right now cuz i wanna let that shit out but i'm not because it's not my place to anymore. you gotta let somethings go and let people make their own mistakes and just hope to god that they realize what's really going on. all i gotta say is I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.

There is nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 18:52:43 GMT

yesterday was fun. got up early and went to philly with wigmasterflex. got a new book from the wooden shoe, ate some falafel, then came back to jersey. went to target so wigs could get some shit, then went to the army navy store so i could get a hat. stopped by stevie's show in haddonfield then i went to the halfway house. met up with geo at westmont and we rode our bikes. got drunk and chopped people with a cardboard battle axe during thrashing zombie squad's set. watched bones brigade and they were fucking awesome. left around 12 and came home.
i went to wal mart this morning and bought a pair of $10 shoes. they look like running shoes and they have those sweet velcro straps instead of laces haha.
tonight i might go to the halfway house before work to hang out for a bit.
only nineteen more days till the big move.
call.

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 12:31:42 GMT

thanksgiving was good for the most part. i slept till 2:30 then went downstairs and ate. went back upstairs immediately after and went back to sleep. i had tofurkey, squash, green bean salad, asperagus, mashed potatoes, and cranberry dumplings. delicious.
my mom was bitching all day because she's been calling my great aunt and uncle for a few days and they haven't been answering. they're both almost ninety and rediculously rich. my mom calls them all the time and sends them flowers and shit to suck up to them in hopes that they'll leave her a nice chunk of cash when they die. so she finally get a hold of my uncle today and apparently my aunt is in the hospital for colon cancer. she had to get an operation and whatnot and things arent looking so good. so my mom goes to the hospital and gets back around 8. she starts bitching and complaining because neither my great aunt nor uncle have made a will. god fucking forbid. i couldn't stand listening to her complain. it made me feel sick to my fucking stomach. that woman disgusts me. my aunt's all fucked up and can't walk cuz she just got her ass operated on and the cancer has prolly spread throughout other parts of her body, but my mother is upset because she might not be getting any money out of her death. get over it. i can't wait to get the fuck out of this house. i've only got two and a half more weeks stuck in this place then i'll be living in philly and hopefully i can sever all ties from her. i hope i never turn out like that old, bitter, greedy, piece of shit. she's the most selfish person i know. well, actually she's about dead-even with someone else but i don't have to live with that person. i'm used to her bullshit considering i grew up with it, but i mean come on man, it's thanksgiving. she could've at least tried to be a decent human being for a day then continued with her miserable existence today.
tonight i'm going to the halfway house and getting really fucking drunk and rocking out to jay's band. hopefully the beef and casey will come too.
call the cell.

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 12:40:09 GMT

happy tofurkey day everyone! i'm gonna smoke a lot of pot today and stuff my face with tofurkey and vegetables. i have off tonight and tomorrow night so let's get fucking drunk. call the cell.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 18:53:04 GMT

oh christ i just found three old composition books full of shit i wrote from ages 15-17. hahaha it's fucking embarassing reading some of that shit cuz it's sooooo bad. i went through the books and ripped out everything i wanted to keep and put the pages in with the book that i've been using for the past year now. haha wow that was weird reading that shit cuz i could remember exactly what was going on at that time in my life and why i wrote that regardless of whether it was any good or not. one of the books had a ritz film bill page in it with three poems/stories/songs/whateveryouwanttocallthem written on them and a detailed drawing of the ritz lobby underneath haha. i remember i was ripping tickets that night and the theater was dead so i wrote all night then drew the lobby when i ran out of things to say. talk about a blast from the past.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:34:10 GMT

hahaha i just recieved this message on myspace... "yo, i bought the against me dvd and you are in it like a million times rockin out at the church show we saw you guys at that plains mistaken for stars played, just figured you wanted to know, you should go out and buy it, its well fuckin worth it."
hahaha that's like the thousandth time i've heard that this week. i wanna see it! i'm broke so somebody better buy it so i can watch myself be drunk and rock out.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 13:26:55 GMT

i'm not going to community service today cuz my name is chris muthafukin whaley and i make decisions regardless of what the possible consequences are. that and because i'm a total fucking idiot sometimes and this happens to be one of those times. i'll go on monday and say i forgot. stupid court-ordered punishments.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 19:34:16 GMT

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -Hunter S. Thompson